At the edge.

“Happy Birthday Noorainn!”

said my boss with her big smile after entering office this morning.  She hands me a green wrap present! Then Abang Mohd Nor and QA & QC team sing me a Happy Birthday song. Whatsapp , Mesengger and Facebook keep showing a notification.

I’m ready to rock my 29! My last session with number TWO. Even tho this year only left 3month je lagi. LOL~

My prayer and wish still same every year , every day… May Allah ease everything. And keep my love ones happy and close to me. Thanks for all birthday present and birthday wishes. Thanks for taking time to write on my Facebook wall , mesengger and send me long wish on Whatsapp.

Thanks Ibu , Angah , Intan , Puan Boss & Lovely Ecah for this present!

 

Tahun ni wish banyak on KAWIN , JODOH , KAWIN , JODOH. Spam ey? Spam akan di-block! Hahahaha.

 

Thank you for everything . I appreciate much. 

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Hello Jula Juli July!

After 5 month with no update , here I am , publish something after my second try login. Fewww , I still remember my username and password for this one! I guess year by year , blogging will take sometime for me to update.

I have 3 more days to settle all sort thing before start working with new company. Alhamdulillah for the rezeki that given to me by Him. Pintu rezeki masih terbuka  , my prayer have been answered. So its time for me  to use my “Bachelor Business Administration (hons) in Human Resource Manangement” cert finally. Yeay! Lets rock my HR new life. Welcome Noorainn , welcome to new stage of experience!

Bila cakap pasal tempat baru , mesti nanti akan teringat kawan-kawan kat tempat lama , our everyday must do thing, our norm , mesti akan compare everything  dan teringat-ingat semua benda. 4 years together , alot of thing i gain while serve Akzo Nobel – International Paint. Wish good memories will stay forever and be remember.

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The Box , I start my acah-acah Lazada business this year. So many thing , so many item nak jual. Bukan main lagi business strategi tak nak kalah semua. Fuh! on august InsyaAllah will come out with 1 big giant baby product ,  Euphoria. Bawah The Box pun bakal ada 1 lagi baby , ˈstāSHəˌnerē . Harap semua ni dalam kawalanlah.  Banyak sangat idea tapi limited time and team member , a bit challenging for me. Tidak apa , pelan-pelan kayuh. Dimana ada kemahuan , disitu ada jalan!

Wish me luck on what ever I do for good.  Semoga hidup tak tergopoh-gopoh sotong. Semoga sentiasa ada tukang support yang kuat , team yang hebat , kesihatan yang baik untuk manage all thing. Tak tau bulan bila pula lagi dapat update entry seterusnya. Gambar trip Sabah 2017 tak update lagi ni!

 

Good night.

Sabah – Part 4 : Kundsang

Lagi 3 minggu nak pergi Sabah semula , baru entry Sabah 2016 nak complete hari ni. Punyalah lama ambil masa untuk update new entry. Busy mengalahkan PM! Ini pun siap ber-download app WordPress bagai dari Play Store , menaip masa tengah mengantuk kat ofis. Haih! 😥

So back to the main point here , sehari sebelum balik ke Johor hari tu , kitorang habiskan masa kat Kundasang. Heaven gila! Taknak balik! Siapa merengek kat Abang Adi “Abanggg..tak nak balik..tak nakkk balikkk”. Hahahhaa LOL-

Dari KK ke Kundasang ambil masa about 3 jam. Pagi tu , Syed bangun awal gila , buatkan breakfast untuk kitorang, lepas makan packing terus bertolak ke Kundasang.

On the way ke Kundasang , tempat pertama kitorang singgah adalah Jambatan Tamparuli Ranau. Piewwwww keluar peluh jantan betina semua kat sini. Masa turun dari van , semua macam “Fuyohhhhh” , lepas posing-posing satu dua gambar , mula nak cross jambatan je , haaaaa mula dengar suara jerit-jerit. Memula Kakju cross , satgi tak sampai tengah dia patah balik. Pastu Angah , berjaya sampai hujung. Pastu aku , Masya Allah! Berpinar kepala , darah gemuruh turun naik! Patut Kakju buat u-turn! Serammmm gila. 

Abang Adi cakap Jambatan Tamparuli tu 1/10 je seram dia dari Canopy walk yang nak buat nanti. Aku cuma mampu istighfar je bila dengar statement tu. Kegilaan apakah ini.

Kat jambatan ni tiada sebarang bayaran dikenakan. Kau cuma bayar guna kekentalan hati nurani je. Hahahahatakkelakar-
So lepas tu kitorang berhenti kat Pekan Nabalu. Pekan ni kecil je, aura sejuk gunung dah boleh rasa kat sini. Pekan ni jual banyak barang-barang souvenir dan buah-buah tempatan , barang-barang local. Beli t-shirt or Keychain kat sini lagi murah dari kat Pasar Philippines. Serious weyh! 

Cerita kelakar masa kitorang kat sini , masa nak masuk toilet, nak lepaskan water-small , so ofkoslah kena buka seluar , duduk proper kat toilet bowl kan , tiba-tiba…. aku terjerit “AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!”. Pastu dengar suara angah dari luar “Oi kencing pun nak over ke?”. Lepas habis hajat , aku pun keluar , baru je nak explain kenapa terjerit , tetiba dengar Syed pula terjerit “AAAAAAAA SEJUKKKKKKK!!!”

Bayangkanlah kawan-kawan.

Bayangkan.

Grrrr…Tapi angah , Kak Onah dengan Kakju tak percaya dengan kesejukkan mangkuk jamban dia. Tu belum kau ceduk air untuk bersuci…Ermm. Ok. Takpe. Tak caye eyy…

So on the way ke Kundasang , telinga akan jadi pop-pop. Then kau taulah yang kau memang makin dekat dengan gunung. Excited!

Before sampai kat homestay , kitorang pergi Kinabalu Park , Canopy Walk & Hot Poring , Kg Luanti

  • Kinabalu Park biasa-biasa je. Luar biasa kalau kau nak mendaki gunung. Kalau just for site visit , very the biasa-biasa one.
  • Canopy Walk perghhhhhhhh! . Stamina kena tinggi oi. Kalau macam aku yang jenis stamina-mina-eyh-eyh-waka-waka-eyh-eyh ni , memang mencarut je dari awal sampai akhir. Aku tak nak tunjuk gambar. Tiada yang sempurna gituuuu-
  • Kg Luanti best main ikan! Kau bayang , dalam bebanyak ikan tu ada seekor ikan keli besar lengan main-main manja kat kaki. Mengucap aku tak berhenti.

View dari Kinabalu Park :

Kg Luanti

Masa jalan-jalan kat Kinabalu Park , Kak onah , Angah dengan Kakju pergilah toilet untuk water-small business.  Hahahaha! Hambik part memasing terjerit sorang-sorang bila toilet bowl menyapa punggung. Pastu barulah sorang-sorang “PERGH GILA LAH ! SEJUKKK OI! TEMASUK BALIK KENCING AKUUU! BETULLAH CAKAP KAU WEYH SEJUKKKK” . Sengal . 

Cerita toilet bowl ni tak habis kat sini je , melarat ke homestay , ke tempat lain juga. As long as kau dekat dengan gunung , sedia jelah untuk kekecutan secara tetiba. Apa yang kecut , aku tak nak cakaplah…

Pukul 4 petang , Kundasang dah mula nak gelap. Cari-cari homestay , rupanya homestay kitorang berdepan dengan Gaya Street. Kat sini sayur selonggok RM4 , bunga ros , bunga orkid ,strawberri celup chocolate, memacam ada!

Sampai je kat homestay, macam biasalah , aktiviti berebut bilik terjadi 😂 Aku selaku orang yang suka curi tulang bila kena angkat barang , terus acah-acah check rumah bila yang lain mengangkut barang. 

So bilik OK , toilet OK , TV , Iron semua OK..Check dapur pula semua OK. Masa untuk usha tempat BBQ! Alangkah terkejutnya bila buka pintu belakang , what i can see is….

GUNUNG KINABALU!!!
Terus berlari panggil semua orang , keluarkan duit RM100 , comparekan gambar kat duit dengan yang kat depan mata ni. Mulut tak sudah-sudah sebut SubahanAllah . Besar kuasa Allah. Tapi masa ni awan dah sarat , so tak nampak sangat puncak gunung tu. Takpe , kita tunggu esok!

Waktu malam takde benda yang boleh buat selain BBQ parteyhhhh. Sambil BBQ sambil tengok view keliling. Kalau kau boleh nampak kat gambar atas tu, dekat area kaki gunung ada banyak rumah-rumah. Bila malam semua rumah tu akan nampak macam kunang-kunang. Kelip-kelip cahaya kecil. Cantik gila. Lupa terus pasal lampu kelap kelip kat bandar JB or kat ICity ke kan. Yang kat sini memang paling cantik!

Esok semangat kau aku bangun pukul 4.30 pagi sebab nak tengok gunung. Dee pesan kalau nak tengok gunung kena bangun pagi. Even pukul 7 pun awan dah tebal. So lepas subuh , terus keluar rumah, dalam pukul 6.30 gitu…ternganga mulut! 

Besar kuasa Kau.

Kerdil aku didepan ciptaan Mu.

Bila dah boleh move on , barulah bersiap-siap. Oh harini last day kat Sabah. Sedih…
Pagi tu kitorang melawat Desa Cattle Dairy Farm. Ni lagi satu masalah. Yogurt, susu, waffle, sausage dia ….sedapppppp gila!!! Apa je yang tak gila bagi aku kat Sabah ni , takde. Semua BEST GILA , SYIOK GILA , SEDAP GILA.

Walau berkali-kali pergi , Sabah tetap yang paling best!!

Sebab tu bulan March ni nak repeat lagi! Hahahaha! Byeeeeee 😙

Sabah : Part 3 – Pantai Tanjung Aru , Sabah State Museum & Heritage Village , Cocoa Boutique Kota Kinabalu

#DAY2

Hahaha! Look at my tittle , too long , many  words fit in sekali jalan.

Ya. Cerita hampir basi. Tapi sebab tadi Lydy cerita pasal trip ke Sabah , baru teringat entry ni dah duduk dalam draft box berbulan-bulan.

By the way , untuk lengkapkan cerita selepas kitorang balik dari pulau hari tu , around  2 or 3PM,  kitorang  meet up balik dengan Abang Adi. Sampai je kat van , terus serbu 7Eleven depannya sebab masing-masing kebuluran! Masa kat 7Eleven ni lah first time kitorang  merasa makan “roti Sabah” and  you know what ,it taste good!

Ramai kawan-kawan cakap roti kat Sabah ni lain sikit rasa dia , keras lah , tak sedap lah , tawar lah ,  but for me ,rasa dia memang sedap. Kalau roti Gardenia tu , kau tertekan sikit je terus penyek tapi roti ni gebu gebas , makan seketul terus boleh kenyang! Sedih terlupa ambil gambar , kalau tak boleh share sikit rupa roti sedap tu.

Ok cukup cerita pasal roti.

Actually plan untuk petang tu kitorang nak pergi Monsopiad Cultural Village tapi Abang Adi kata tempat tu agak jauh dari bandar , takut tak sempat sampai sebab dah tutup. He then suggest us untuk visit Sabah State Museum sebab kat sana ada Heritage Village , so kenalah dengan niat hati yang kononnya nak pergi tengok cultural thing.

Tapi sedih! Sampai sana , kitorang ada setengah jam or 15 minit ntah masa tu sebelum museum tutup. Oh by the way , for your information , kebanyakkan tempat kat Sabah tutup awal. Tutup awal based on waktu jam tangan kau yang berasal dari semenanjung. Imagine jelah pukul 5 petang dah gelap!

So kitorang macam berjalan dengan perasaan yang “Alahhhhh apa niiiiiii…”. Tetiba Abang Adi jumpa pintu masuk ke Herritage Village! So apa lagi…. Sempatlah tengok sikit-sikit rupa rumah traditional dan beli souvenir kat sini.

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So next , Abang Adi bawa tengok sunset! View sunset yang paling cun di KK of course-lah kat Pantai Tanjung Aru. Mood romantic spreading wild!

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Tak banyak benda yang boleh buat kat pantai ni selain bersantai-santai dan pesta selfie. So after about 1 hour , Abang Adi bawa kami ke Cocoa Boutique Kota Kinabalu.

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Untuk peminat coklat , kat sini syurga dunia kau. Macam aku , memang hilang pedoman habis bila masuk tempat ni. Macam-macam jenis coklat ada kat sini , dari yang selalu kau pernah makan sampailah ke coklat yang weird. Paling over dia punya pelik ialah coklat perisa cili.

Boleh bayang macam mana rasa dia ? Kau masuk mulut , rasa dia manis gila. Melt kat dalam mulut. Pastu bila dia dah hilang dari mulut , haaa! pedas dia muncul.

Selain cili , perisa curry pun ada , betik , pisang , tongkat ali , tiramisu , kopi dan macam-macam lagi. Harga dia tak terlalu mahal dan tak juga murah sangat. Tapi masih mampu beli berkeping-keping jugaklah. Huhuhuhu.

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Gambar dari Google

 

Malam , lepas makan , kitorang berjalan ke pasar untuk cari ikan dan ayam untuk dibawa ke Kundasang esoknya! Wihuuuuuu BBQ mode ON! Harga ikan memang murah gila  , berbeza betul dengan pasar kat Pasir Gudang ni. Untuk bahan marinated BBQ , benda yang paling susah nak jumpa ialah sos blackpaper. Susah gila nak jumpa. Sangat! Cili atau benda pedas-pedas ni memang kurang senang kau nak nampak kat sini. Siapa yang tak boleh makan kalau tak pedas , harap bertabah.

Kalau bermalam di Kundasang , ramai yang suggestkan untuk belilah barang basah untuk dibawa ke sana sebab malam-malam susah nak cari tempat makan plus malam-malam tiada aktiviti sangat yang kita boleh buat selain BBQ, sesi luahan perasaan , kira bintang , nyanyi-nyanyi ke kan…memang tak bolehlah nak jalan-jalan waktu malam. Tak boleh.

Sekarang bayangkan kau ber-BBQ sambil mengadap Gunung Kinabalu. Fuh!

 

Next entry ,  #Day 3 : Kundasang!

 

Grief belongs to the griever.

26 August 2015. 13.08pm.

It’s been a year.
Exactly on this date, last year, at this exact time,
We lost our favorite guy.
A wife lost her loving husband.
A kid’s losing their awesome father.
The family who lost their love one.
A friend who lost their cool buddy.
We still in grief.

 

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.”
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

 

I’m not going to talk about my sisters and Ibu since we have different way about grieving. We all process things differently. We all have our own bundle of memories. No one exactly understands us for that. Even sometimes, I do feel like we also unable to understand each other for certain things. Why? Because we still have “that” feeling. Sadness, grief… Do you think you able to “layan” that-that-person if you your-own carrying some “burden”? Everything will become hard to swallow! And I guess from this point, we become insensitive sometimes.

Many people asked me, even I have that thought. Can I move on with all this?

The answer is I CAN. But I need some time.

How long it will take?

I’m not sure. Maybe after 2 years, 10 years, forever…

Even though today is 365 hari after Ayah pergi , It seems like it was only yesterday that we both lepak together, eating our favorite mee goreng ayam kurang pedas kat kedai mamak lepas beli mineral water, I still feel like macam baru semalam he scold me about being malas sleep all day on the weekend, It seems like it was only yesterday that I slide and lay on his bed between ayah and ibu asking “Malam ni ayah nak belanja makan kat mana?” and he will ask “Nak makan apa? Cepat siap”.

Dalam setahun, anything can happen. You have enough time to do what you wanted to do.
But for some reason like grief, one year will never feel so long. You feel like everything still in the same place and nothing less. You still hold on something that make you try so hard to pretend nothing has changed or maybe you can’t just accept all this fate and reality, so you just shut eyes close and not going to think more.

 

“Everyone grieves in different ways. For some, it could take longer or shorter. I do know it never disappears. An ember still smolders inside me. Most days, I don’t notice it, but, out of the blue, it’ll flare to life.”

Maria V. Snyder, Storm Glass

 

I always mentioned to my sisters and I always remind myself too that “Everything will be alright. We cannot feel down like this forever”. I always comfort them especially  my baby sister by saying…

“Imagine you will live until 100 years old. Will you be depressed till that age? Will you feel down until 100 because you not like your friends , you don’t have your father anymore? We should take time to move on. We should move on!”

I always want to make them feel OK whenever they feel not , but you know….. It’s easier said than done.

Kadang-kadang  “100 years old quote” tu aku rasa BULLSHIT.

Last raya , we promised we wont cry and  be strong for each other. And…It won’t last long.

I feel so awkward when I no longer need to ques untuk gosok baju raya ayah , I feel so awkward seeing all le’cousins line up , salam AYAH diorang while 4 of us keep looking each other face with “Jangan-nangis-jangan-nangis-control-control” look. I feel a bit awkward bila selalunya akan salam ayah dulu baru ibu , but now terus ke ibu…

Dulu  pernah few times  nampak lepas sesi salam-salam pagi raya , kadang-kadang ayah akan duduk kat kerusi hall atas dengar lagu raya sorang-sorang dan nangis. He miss arwah nenek dan arwah datuk so much.

This year,

I sit there , at the same spot. And I miss him.

“The worst type of crying wasn’t the kind everyone could see–the wailing on street corners, the tearing at clothes. No, the worst kind happened when your soul wept and no matter what you did, there was no way to comfort it. A section withered and became a scar on the part of your soul that survived. For people like me and Echo, our souls contained more scar tissue than life.”
Katie McGarry, Pushing the Limits 

 

But after all , I know setiap yang terjadi , ada hikmahnya.

Bit by bit  , step by step…

Dia tidak datangkan pengganti tapi Dia jelmakan Ayah dalam orang sekeliling. So that I can still feel his love and vibe.

 

Al-Fatihah.

Brave and Bold is the same thing?

BRAVE

Bravery isn’t only about heroic acts in unusual situations.

It’s a big risk.
You may get an advantage about being brave, but it can turn vice versa and ruin your day instead.

Be in my shoes, after quite some time I have no choice, I feel like I need to stand up for ME.
I believe that no one will fight for us if not yourself who doing it, because as we know, “This is a fact of life”.
There’s no point if I keep holding back and keep everything to myself alone. It won’t make me feel better because all things just turning gray.

Some friend told me what I’m doing is good. I try to speak up.
Some friend told me I’m brave. Really?
Some friend told me I’m doing something that so unexpectedly. Maybe..
Some friend told me I’m digging my own grave. Ermm..

Well,
It’s OK if we being rejected because of our “bravery actions”, at least we tried.
That’s the most important part of being brave rite?
Doing something without putting a soul to it, ah that sucks!
Even when you try harder to make things better, it will burdened you more.
No matter how big, how cool, how extravangce the thing you do, it will give an impact.
Sooner or later.

 

“and when we speak we are afraid
our words will not be heard
nor welcomed
but when we are silent
we are still afraid
So it is better to speak
remembering
we were never meant to survive”
Audre Lorde, The Black Unicorn: Poems

 

I’m not brave. I believe I have just reached my upper limit.
I just want to be understandable by others. To get that attention, sometimes we need to go BOLD.

 

BOLD

Overall, bold is a good quality. It has nuances of gutsy, pro-active, and adventurous as well as morally courageous. On the other hand, it can imply forward, brazen and rash, even offensive. It really depends on the context and the particular nuance can be subtle.

Brave on the other hand is virtually always a good quality. It is pretty much synonymous with courageous.

 

Do you hold back saying what you think because you want to make sure that everything you say makes perfect sense? Me too!
I want to be liked, I want to be nice. I don’t want to deal with anyone being upset or offended by what I’ve said.
But I told you, it’s difficult!
With people surround me, with what I’m hearing everyday, with what happen everyday, what life experience I gain every day, I don’t think I can always say something sweet like cola.
Different people need to be dealt with in different ways. Again ,  “This is a fact of life”.

Sometimes when I want to say something bold, I stay silent because I just imagine a nameless disaster. But if I think it through and ask myself “what is the worst thing that could happen?”. Then I realize that the worst thing will happen is that person I’m speaking to might be upset for a day or for a week. Gosh! But I think I can still handle them. Sooner or later we will settle this thing right?

Actually, not able to say what I am thinking is really annoyed me so much. But when I’m not able to make people see clearly my point, is worse.
Because of this reason, I will try hard to make everything goes well. And when I’m saying “Goes Well”, it sometimes will turn hell to others. Sorry!

 

 

 

Sabah : Part 2 – Tunku Abdul Rahman National Park

#DAY2

Hari kedua berada kat Sabah , Ya Allah , rasa bahagia sangat. Hahahahaa overly attached!

Pagi tu Kak Ju ketuk pintu bilik dalam pukul 5 pagi. Berpisat-pisat biji mata nak buka , nak-tak-nak kena bangun juga , perform Subuh , bersiap , packing barang dan breakfast. Aroun 7.30 pagi , Abang Adi , our tourist guide sudah bersiap-siap tunggu kat bawah.

Let’s go to the beach!

Jesselton Point Waterfront. Tempat yang buatkan kitorang excited pada awal pagi tu. Kami guna khidmat Kaunter number 10, Island Hop Express dan dapat pakej student so harga boat trip untuk ke 3 pulau dan snorkeling gear for 6 pax dapat dalam RM43. Murah dari apa yang dijangka.

Cost:

Island Hopping  RM43 per group + Terminal fee student RM3.82 per pax + Conservation Fee RM3 per pax , so seorang need to spend RM14 .

But then we need to pay few bucks more on our way back sebab 1 snorkeling gear hilang! Haih. *semua jeling Ainn*

We decide to go to :

  • Pulau Manukan
  • Pulau Sapi

 

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At first we plan to do Parasailing , only cost RM70.00 at Manukan , our first pit stop. Sebab percutian ni bukan percutian yang “mewah” , so kalau boleh jimat memang nak buat benda-benda yang jimat je.  Pastu abang yang incharge kitorang cakap kat Manukan ada aktiviti Sea-walking! I’m the one who excited bout this activity sebab before ni kitorang ada borak-borak pasal sea-walking tapi harga dia terlampau mahal , tapi kat Manukan , Sea-walking only cost RM150 including cert and CD picture. Lepas abang tu register nama , semua bengang  je memikirkan perbelanjaan dari RM70 naik ke RM150! Heheheehe. Sekali seumur hidup je kottt~

Pengalaman? Sumpah cuak! Masa nak turun dalam laut dengan paras 5meter kebawah , bila pakai topi oxygen yang beratnya 30KG , air laut yang sejuk gila , doa dan mengucap memang tak lekang dari mulut. Masa tulah macam-macam zikir ,doa makan , zikir taubat nasuha semua keluar.

Dalam takut , bila dah reda sikit darah gemuruh , tetiba keadaan akan rasa lebih tenang actually .Dia punya “nikmat” , SubahanAllah . Rasa tenang damai memang tak boleh nak gambarkan!

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For the next pulau , kitorang hanya buat aktiviti FREE , snorkeling . Bajet habis hahahaha.

Oh by the way , kalau nak pergi pulau , silalah bawa bekal makanan dan minuman. Air tin , snacks kat pulau-pulau ni harga memantol-mantol! Nasiblah kitorang memasing sangat tak kisah , sanggup berkongsi makan minum. Kalau tak…..imagine Coke 1 can , RM6. Beli 6 tin dah RM36 , campur keropok bodoh-bodoh tu RM5 1 pack…kempis.

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Selalunya kalau area pukul 1 sampai 3 tengahari , aku memang akan cuba elak untuk duduk bawah panas. Tapi masa kat sini , lupa terus pasal kita ni Photophobia. Selalu berpanas mesti migraine , tak pun mata sakit….tapi masa ni Alhamdulillah sikit pun tak pening. Excited concur all i guess.

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Petang , lepas balik dari pulau , Abang Adi bawa pergi kilang coklat , Muzium Sabah dan Pantai Tanjung Aru. Since this post  all dedicated for Pulau ,kita sambung cerita petang kat different post.

See you next time! 🙂